Since the announcement that Glenn Beck is leaving Fox News, conspiracy theories abound. We may never know the whole story or the details behind the split but what we can do is wildly speculate who is going to take his place. The most important thing Fox News president Roger Ailes should keep in mind is whoever takes Beck’s time slot has to be someone who makes the Left put their full-blown moonbattery on display. It must be someone who pushes all the right buttons and enrages leftists, causing them to picket and boycott and all the other fun and hilarious things they do when confronted by conservative truth-tellers.
The thing I’ll miss most about Beck being gone is the reaction from all the statist twerps who hate him with a frenzy that can only be compared to neurotic miniature poodles who pee on the carpet when overexcited. Ailes should focus like a laser on replacing Beck with only the most hated personality he can find. Not only will it keep the ratings up, but it will provide sane people with fantastic entertainment. The following are 10 suggestions for conservative hosts sure to make the Left angrier (and funnier) than they already are.
10. We Have Lesbians Too, Only Ours Are Prettier: Meet Tammy Bruce
Nothing infuriates the Left more than a traitor, and Tammy Bruce is a pretty big traitor. Bruce is a lesbian, a former NOW chapter president, and lifelong Democrat. Then she saw the light when she realized that individuals aren’t welcome on the Left. Group-think is a requirement and Bruce isn’t a team player. She’s been one of the most popular conservative talk-show hosts and a best-selling author ever since. She loves to tweak the Left and isn’t afraid to say unpopular things. Readers at the Huffington Post went bananas after she called Michelle Obama trash.
“That’s what he’s married to,” Bruce said. “…You know what we’ve got? We’ve got trash in the White House. Trash is a thing that is colorblind, it can cross all eco-socionomic…categories. You can work on Wall Street, or you can work at the Wal-Mart. Trash, are people who use other people to get things, who patronize others, who consider you bitter and clingy…”
Just perusing the reader comments is a fun trip down the the progressive rabbit hole.
These are the kinds of people, however, that will encourage the upcoming slaughter of Republicans in the next election. In this way they are doing for the American people what Anita Bryant did for the gays- stir them to action. I look forward VERY MUCH to seeing far fewer Republicans in the Congress and Senate after the next election. ~Johnny76
Those were delusional ramblings that Johnny76 wrote in 2009. In case you weren’t aware, the election in 2010 ushered in a record number of Republicans and enough people to fill the mall in D.C. who also think the White House is full of trash.
Who is this beatch, anyway? How long do we have to put with the Limbaugh’s, the Ingrams, the Hannity’s and the O’Reilly before someone says “enough”? ~tbrnotb
And there it is. The classic leftist solution to all of their detractors. Silence them! Off with their heads! Enough of this silly First Amendment nonsense! “Beatches” should be put to shame and then thrown off the airwaves.
It’s funny to listen to the Left talk about how much they love freedom and then watch them try to enslave anyone who dares to step off their ideological plantation. The best part about Bruce is the fact she’s a lesbian who understands quite clearly America’s resistance to gay marriage.
I, one among many, respect and understand the growing concern about the disintegration of our traditions and values. I am so concerned, it is the heart and soul of my second book, The Death of Right and Wrong.
Consequently, I respect the majority of Americans and their opinion that marriage should be defined as between one man and one woman.
It’s kind of hard to degrade her in the way they are used to degrading conservative women because they risk being hoisted by their own petard and called homophobic. That puts a whole new dynamic in the mix of defending Bruce against the Left. Anyone who attacks her, using their philosophy, is by default a homophobic sack of human waste. Oh, the delicious irony!
Bruce would not only enrage the pro-gay marriage Left but the anti-gun nuts too. Here’s a girl who loves her guns so much, she is photographed with them for press shoots! I love her and Fox News does too. She’s already a regular contributor.
Have you ever been to the post office during lunch rush when there’s a line of people out the door and one of the two people working at the counter decides it’s break time? Or how about the DMV where you could contract tuberculosis while you wait for 6 hours only to be told the sixteen forms of identification you brought aren’t sufficient?
Have you, or someone you love, been escorted out of the Social Security office because they were afraid you were going to do them bodily harm because they gave you the wrong instructions for the third time?
Have you ever been hung up on by a government employee because they didn’t want to answer your inquiries into why they threw out your voter registration three days before a major election?
Have you ever had to call your congressperson to get weeds cut on your street because the state owns it and the city won’t care for it and in the mean time you almost get killed because it’s a vision hazard?
Have you been ticketed for smoking outside too close to a bus stop or forced to make thousands of dollars of repairs to your car because it wouldn’t pass the emissions test while the engine light was on…even though it was just an electrical problem that had nothing to do with emissions?
All these things happened to me or people I know and I’m willing to bet you have similar stories of nightmarish run-ins with bureaucratic government offices. Rachel Maddow, however, keeps insisting that anti-government is the same thing as pro-small government. But the Tea Party she hates so much isn’t anti-government at all.
I have finally lived long enough to see some dreams come true.
A Russian billionaire, Alexander Mashkevich, has just announced that he will fund a pro-Israel, pro-truth television news channel, a “Jewish Al-Jazeera.” God bless him! I have been calling for something like this for seven years. I hope that Mr. Mashkevich and his advisors understand that this new channel must be far better than Al-Jazeera, not only in terms of truth-telling but in other ways as well. Al-Jazeera broadcasts only in Arabic and English, and is only now preparing to broadcast in Turkish and Urdu. The “Jewish Al-Jazeera” must appear in many more languages simultaneously: Arabic, Turkish, Persian, Kurdish, Urdu, Punjabi, Sindhi, Bengali, Pashto, the Indonesian and Malaysian languages, as well as in all the European, East European, and former Soviet languages.
Why? Because all the Big Lies and blood libels about Israel and the Jews are being told 24/7 in every language on earth.
Cutting waste out of the federal and state budgets is not just popular sentiment, but a necessity in the face of unsustainable debt. We are going to run out of other people’s money. Not only are the wasteful programs going to have to go, but some of the useful and popular ones too. The sacrifice the Obamas prattled endlessly about during the 2008 presidential campaign is actually here but it’s not what they had in mind. The sacred cows of the Left are no longer sacred. ACORN was defunded following their exposure as ethics-challenged tax evaders, NPR is now under scrutiny, and Planned Parenthood should face the same fate due to the pattern of lawbreaking and lying that seems to be a corporate policy.
Abortion is a touchy issue with high emotions on both sides, but it is important to understand that it will not go away with the defunding of Planned Parenthood. Even the most pro-choice person should be able to look at the following facts about Planned Parenthood and see that our tax money should not be wasted on such blatant disregard for the law and safety of women. The following list details the ten most despicable lies told by Planned Parenthood which should end taxpayer subsidies forever.
10. Lying to Cities To Get Permits Without “Trouble” From Taxpayers
In Aurora, Illinois, a mysterious medical center started construction. The building was nearly complete when a construction worker started to get suspicious of the bullet proof glass and the operating rooms they were installing. When he reported what he had seen to others, people began to dig. The building was owned by a company called Gemini which turned out to be a front company for Planned Parenthood. The building would be the largest abortion mill in the country.
The citizens of the town were horrified and livid that they had not been notified as was their legal right since Planned Parenthood is a “non-profit” organization, and as such, has to apply for a special use permit which requires a notice to be posted in the paper so the taxpayers can voice any objections.
Planned Parenthood never applied for the permit. Instead, they set up a front “for-profit” false company to apply for private permits. This, of course, was illegal. According to permit laws, the entire building should have been torn down due to the subterfuge. (Believe me, if some poor sap doesn’t file for the right permit for the addition on his house and the city finds out they will tear it down, no doubt about it.) Steve Trombley, the Planned Parenthood President of the Chicago area knew what he was doing was deceptive and he did it purposefully to hoodwink the taxpayers of Aurora.
“Frankly, I’m surprised we were able to keep it a secret for so long,” said Steve Trombley, president and chief executive officer of Planned Parenthood/Chicago Area…. “We didn’t want anything to interfere with the opening… and, at this point, I don’t anticipate anything will stop that from happening.”
Yeah, it really would have sucked if angry homeowners whose property values plummeted overnight showed up and stopped your abortion party, Steve. As much as Planned Parenthood tries to convince America that there’s nothing wrong with their butcher shops, very few people would want to move next door to one. (I’d rather live next to a nuclear plant.) Trombley succeeded in opening his abortion mill because the building was so far along and he had sympathetic ears on the board. But if he hadn’t skirted the law applied for the proper permit, he would have had a much harder road and at least the citizens of Aurora would have had their say.
By now you’ve heard the story of Iman al-Obeidi, the Libyan woman who was dragged off to prison after telling reporters of the vicious gang rape she suffered at the hands of Qaddafi’s men. Well, according to frequent HuffPo contributor and professional Bush Derangement Syndrome fomenter Russ Baker, that’s just what they want you to believe. Because psyops, man. Don’t you get it? Wheels within wheels: