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The New York Times Launches a Leftist Cable Channel to Compete with Glenn Beck

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Posted on March 26 2011 6:29 pm
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The New York Times ran a sophomoric “Op-Art” piece on Saturday entitled “The Glenn Beck Channel.” Responding to reports this past week that Beck may be starting his own cable channel when his contract with Fox News expires later this year, the authors offered their suggestions for a viewing schedule.

Since the New York Times is now charging for online access to its content and looking for new ways to generate revenue to offset its rapidly declining print sales, it is quite possible that, just like Glenn Beck, it may start its own cable channel. However, one difference is that, just like left-wing NPR, it would probably expect taxpayer money to help pay for it.

So here, in the interest of fulfilling the Left’s favorite ideology, the Fairness Doctrine, is my own sophomoric suggested daily viewing schedule for the Times to consider if and when it decides to launch a new cable channel.

Morning:

7:00 Morning In Venezuela?

Wake up with host Sean Penn to two hours of inspirational speeches by Hugo Chavez and commentaries by Penn and Chavez’s other adoring fans.

9:00 The View With Joy Behar And Whoopi  Goldberg

The gals invite Bill O’Reilly back to their show and as soon as he says “good morning,” they scream over him and walk off the stage in protest for not instead saying it in Arabic – “Sabah alkhair.” They then continue the show just by themselves, exchanging their left-wing views with each other.

11:00 The Price Is Right – At This Moment

Contestants guess how many dollars it will take to buy a basket full of food and a tank of gasoline at any given moment, depending on how much and how frequently the Federal Reserve decides to print more money.

Afternoon:

3:00 Sing Along With Barbara Streisand and Harry Belafonte

Babs and Harry sings their favorite socialist anthems and put this speech of Babs back in 2003 to music:

Take your war to Wall Street where it belongs, Mr. Bush! And instead of exterminating the Iraqi people with your bombs and lasers, you f-ck-n cowboy…blow up all those g-dd-mn lying, stealing, greedy Wall Street CEO’s — especially those son-of-a-b–ch record executives who passed on my latest CD.

4:00…………..When Bad Things Happen To Conservatives

Child programming. Puppets dressed up as Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid beat up puppets dressed up as Tea Partiers and then stomp on a life sized mannequin of Speaker John Boehner until it starts crying real tears.

5:00…………..The Obama-Wright Gospel Hour

Reverend Jeremiah Wright hosts a full three hours of the best of Barack Obama’s speeches set to gospel music, with additional lyrics written and sung by Reverend Wright himself.

Evening

8:00………….How To Take Money From Successful People

Reverend Jesse Jackson and AFL-CIO president Richard Trumka host a panel of experts in how to redistribute money from successful people and give it to those whom Jackson and Trumka deem worthy. They also show videos of how they stalked children of CEOs at private school playgrounds and persuaded them to turn over their lunch money to union piggybanks.

9:00………….The George Soros Apprentice

George Soros hosts a lively two hour unreality show in which left-wing graduates from some of our nation’s most progressive colleges organize community activist groups, lead strikes and disruptions, and collaborate with Media Matters to catch Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly in as many faux pas as possible. They also play “Bring Down The  Dollar” to see who is the best at simulating the destruction of the U.S. dollar. The winner gets to lead another George-Soros-funded open society new world order project.

11:00………… Times editors take turns with Maureen Dowd, Bob Herbert, Paul Krugman, and Frank Rich reading their favorite editorials and op-ed pieces bashing George W. Bush and praising Barack Obama – even when Bush and Obama have pursued the same policies.

Joseph Klein is the author of a recent book entitled Lethal Engagement: Barack Hussein Obama, the United Nations and Radical Islam

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