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The Top 13 Zionist Animal Conspiracy Theories

Posted By Eldad Tzioni On February 20, 2011 @ 1:30 pm In Anti-Semitism,Conspiracy Theories,Email,Feature,Main,Right to Exist | 1 Comment

Arabs specifically and many Muslims in general know that the Jews, especially Israeli Jews, are brilliant and diabolical. They use their scientific knowledge to advance their nefarious cause, building ever-increasingly sophisticated weapons whose only purpose is to harass and annoy Arabs.

But the Zionist brilliance is not limited to chemistry, electronics and medicine. Apparently, the Zionist Jews are experts at weaponizing animals to carry out unspeakable acts of espionage and vandalism.

Every couple of months, the Arab media describes such schemes in detail.

Here, for the first time, is the most complete known list of Zionist animal plots.

And we’re starting with…

13. Evil Zionist Poison-Resistant Super-Rats

In 2008, the official Wafa Palestinian Arab news agency — under the direct control of PA president Mahmoud Abbas — reported that Israel is using rats to drive Arabs out of the Old City of Jerusalem.

“Rats have become an Israeli weapon to displace and expel Arab residents of the occupied Old City of Jerusalem,” Wafa reported.

“Over the past two months, dozens of settlers come to the alleyways and streets of the Old City carrying iron cages full of rats. They release the rats, which find shelter in open sewage systems.”

Wafa went on to quote anonymous Arab residents as saying that they had tried to poison the rats but nothing worked.

Hasan Khater, secretary-general of the Islamic-Christian Front in Jerusalem, said that the goal was to “increase the suffering of the [Arabs] in Jerusalem by turning their lives into a real tragedy and forcing them to evict their homes and leave the city.”

Palestine Today added that the rats were damaging Arab shops and homes.

As we speak, evil Zionist scientists are breeding these super-rats. Poison and deadly traps cannot kill them.

But more impressively, the rats are trained to distinguish between Jewish and Arab homes and shops in Jerusalem, and only attack the Arabs. This is no doubt the result of years of genetic research combined with micro-chips implanted in the rats’ brains to ensure that the victims are all 100% Arab.

Next: Israelis apparently even use non-kosher animals for their hideous schemes…

12. The Zio-Boars: Resistance is Futile

In February 2007, the anti-Israel IMEMC released this “news” item:

Palestinian sources in Salfit, in the northern part of the West Bank, reported on Thursday that Israeli settlers released boars in Palestinian farmlands near Salfit, in the northern part of the West Bank.

Resident Abdul-Fattah Al Ghazzawi, 43, stated that the settlers released at least twenty boars that attacked his farmland and several surrounding farmlands and ate the plants.

The settlers kept the boars in the farmlands overnight and only moved them away on Thursday morning.

Al Ghazzawi added that the settlers have carried out several similar attacks against the farmlands recently, and that the number of attacks has significantly increased.

Amazing! Religious Jewish Israeli settlers are raising wild pigs specifically so they can release them to destroy only Palestinian Arab crops! While boars are far from kosher, the hate of the settlers knows no bounds, so instead of trying to make a living or raise a family, many of them apparently decided to go with the “raise and train wild boars to harass Arabs”-route.

This particular rumor was repeated many times. From the Palestinian Arab Ma’an News in April 2007:

A herd of wild boars on Tuesday attacked the cleaning workers of Salfit municipality while they were emptying a garbage truck.

The wild boars are being released by Israeli settlers in order to destroy the plants and crops of Palestinians.

How does one tame a wild animal enough to return to home base after doing its damage? This is another Zionist scientific mystery.

In June, 2007, the Palestine Today website added a new twist. Now there were “hundreds” of the well-trained wild pigs, but we also learned that there were so many of them because of the “racist wall” Israel was building to keep Arab terrorists out! It seems that the wall did double-duty, because it also kept the boars out of Jewish areas. Even though, you know, the Jews had trained them not to eat Jewish crops. But no matter — it is now a war crime! (The June article also added wolves to the list of Zionist animal attackers.)

The evil Zionists didn’t rest on their laurels, though. Soon they weren’t only training the pigs to specifically attack crops at the most critical times in their growth, but also what time of day to attack. From 2008:

Herds of wild pigs dumped in the outskirts of the West Bank city of Salfit by residents of the nearby Ariel Israeli settlement, are preventing civilians from leaving their homes in the evening, for fear of being attacked.

Eyewitnesses from the Al-Freiz neighborhood near the settlement said that in the evening after the sunset prayer the pigs attack gardens.

The pigs have now become smarter than their Arab enemies. But they had one more trick up their sleeve, perhaps inevitable in 2009 but devastating nonetheless: they were suspected of carrying swine flu.

The secret settler pig program was a rousing success. Everyone could agree that these amazing creatures had struck terror in the minds of the enemy. In fact, they were so successful that the Israeli government and army started taking over the program from the settlers, as this 2009 article from Palestine Today revealed:

Witnesses in the town of Arraba affirmed to the news agency that the Israeli occupation forces and the so-called Israeli Nature Protection Service brought a tanker full of pigs inside the town, under the protection and guard of military patrols of the army of occupation, and placed them on Arraba-Ya’bad street in a garbage dump near the town of Arraba.

So now we have implicated settlers, the Israel Nature Protection Service and the IDF.

The fact that the Mossad has not yet been suspected is proof of how good they really are.

Next: Not all sheep are harmless…

11. The Amazing Tree-Eating Sheep

It is well known that the only people in the entire world who harvest olives are Palestinian Arabs, usually old women who happen to be caught in the act by enterprising photographers from wire services. After all, Palestinian Arabs have been harvesting their olives for dozens of years now, proving their ancient claim to the land.

This naturally enrages Israeli settlers, who cannot stand to see any olive trees in the entire area.

So they came up with a new trick to get rid of them: unleash the Zionist Sheep of Terror!

From Ma’an:

Settlers attempting to impede Palestinian olive harvests initiated a bizarre new tactic on Thursday, apparently leaving flocks of sheep at olive groves to feed on the small trees.

Residents told Ma’an that Israeli settlers “dumped dozens of sheep” on Palestinian farmland neighboring the illegal settlement of Itamar, where the animals damaged and devoured dozens of olive and fig trees.

57-year-old Jamil Daraqshah claimed that he saw an Israeli shepherd at his farm in the village of Awarta, which is south of Nablus, just days before. Also evidence, he said, is that Palestinians are not permitted to enter the area without first coordinating with the Palestinian-Israeli liaison office in Nablus.

In retrospect, it is so obvious. I mean, why wouldn’t Jews living in the area send their sheep to eat trees that would hurt their digestive systems and possibly ruin them for being sold? After all, they must get rid of the olive (and fig) trees, and how effective sheep are to do the job!

Next: Even the king of the jungle is a mere pawn of the Zionists…

10. The Lion of Zion

In 2007, Arabs had a new fear: the Zionist Lion!


Israeli soldiers on Saturday told villagers from al-Fourdess village, located near the southern West Bank city of Bethlehem, that a Lioness had escaped from the nearby settlement of Qedumem.

Witnesses reported that a large number of Israeli soldiers were seen looking for the escaped lioness on Friday night, but did not tell villagers of the dangerous animal until Saturday.

The witnesses added that the soldiers used light flares during the night to illuminate the sky in their search for the animal.

Osamah, a resident of the village of Al Fourdess, told IMEMC that a Palestinian shepherd from the village had saw the animal approaching the area.

Villagers added that they now feared both settler attacks and attacks from the potentially ferocious animal.

Note how the soldiers were careful to keep the Arab village in the dark for an entire night, no doubt hoping for a few maulings and a good meal for the lion (whose name was probably Yehudah Aryeh Leib.)

9. The Zio-Cows of Destruction

The Lebanese border is usually a quiet place. Sometimes, though, an international incident erupts: a Hezbollah ambush and kidnapping of Israeli soldiers, an Israeli patrol wanting to clear trees or perhaps something far more diabolical – Zionist cows.

From The Daily Star Lebanon:

Israeli cows guided by Israeli shepherds have been crossing the border in an act southerners are condemning as a violation of the country’s sovereignty, especially since the cattle is being protected by the Israeli Army. The bovine “incursions” have even provoked Lebanese dogs that have now made it their mission to make the cows return where they came from.

Lebanese shepherds are also very concerned with falling water levels in the area as a result of the straying Israeli livestock.

Ismail Nasser, from Kfar Shuba, described how the Israeli cows have been crossing the border on a daily basis on their way to Baathail Lake without any consequences, while a commotion would erupt if any of his dogs were to approach the Blue Line, which was drawn by the United Nations in 2000, after Israel’s withdrawal from almost all of the south.

As Nasser spoke, three cows appeared in the distance and were soon chased by the shepherd’s barking dogs. As the dogs appeared to close in on their targets, an Israeli Merkava tank made its way to the combat zone only to disappear few moments after.

Nasser sighed with relief.

“There’s barely enough water for me and my fellow Lebanese shepherds and each Israeli cow drinks more than 40 of our goats put together. Why doesn’t UNIFIL consider this as an violation of the Blue Line?” Nasser asked.

Indeed, why hasn’t the UN convened yet on the thirsty Joo-cows, taking away precious water from Arab farmers? Where’s Amnesty International? Where’s J Street?

The world’s silence in this matter only proves that the Jews control everything!

Next: The best present an evil dad could ask for…

8. Egyptian Remote-Controlled Tourist-Eating Sharks

Not all of Egypt’s tourists visit the Pyramids. Lots of them like to hang out in beautiful, sunny Sharm el-Sheikh.

But last year the Zionists hatched their most deadly plan yet.

A German tourist was mauled to death by a shark off Egypt’s Red Sea coast Sunday, but if popular rumors on the street are to be believed, it was the Israelis who did it.

The attack came days after authorities claimed they had hunted and killed a shark believed to have injured three foreign tourists in previous incidents.

A popular account has it that Israel is “dumping” hungry sharks in the Red Sea in a bid to weaken Egypt’s thriving tourism industry.

One tourism company operator who owns a small fleet of mini-buses that cater to Cairo’s tourist spots told me that Israel wants Egypt to lose one of its most vital economic resources so that it can toe the line on the Palestinians.

An Egyptian official thought there was merit to the theory:

“What is being said about the Mossad throwing the deadly shark (in the sea) to hit tourism in Egypt is not out of the question, but it needs time to confirm,” South Sinai Gov. Muhammad Abdel Fadil Shousha told egynews.net.

A diving instructor went on Egyptian TV to add more expert testimony:

Mustafa Ismail: The fish that caused the problem is not a sea fish. This type of shark is not a sea shark.

Interviewer: What kind of shark is it?

Mustafa Ismail: An ocean shark. This type of shark migrates from South Africa all the way to the top of the Earth. They don’t enter alleys. The Red Sea is an alley compared to the ocean.

[An Israeli diver] told me that they had found a baby shark of a certain species opposite the Eilat port. Whey they found it, they saw it had a GPS device on it.

Interviewer: A guiding device?

Mustafa Ismail: Yes, on its back. Anyone else would have ignored it, but not us.

Remote controlled killer sharks! The only thing missing are the frickin’ laser beams attached to their heads!

Next: Mossad agent R65.

7. Spy Vultures of Doom

The most recent of the Zionist Attack Zoo members, discovered early this year:

Saudi media reported on Tuesday that a vulture tagged with the words, “Tel Aviv University,” had been detained for being a Mossad spy.

A report in the Saudi paper, Al-Weeam, claimed that the vulture, bearing a leg bracelet and transmitter, apparently placed by Israeli bird scientists studying migration patterns, had been found in a rural area of the country.

The paper said the flight appeared to be “a Zionist plot.”

The report triggered a plethora of posts on Arabic websites, claiming that “Zionists” had trained birds for espionage.

The vulture was eventually pardoned by a Saudi prince, who foolishly believed the Zionists at Tel Aviv University who said the school’s markings on the bird really meant they were responsible for it. How naive!

Now the vulture, known by its spy name of R65, is free to spy on other Arab countries. Bwa-ha-ha-ha!

6. Secret Squirrel Espionage

Iran has had great success infiltrating Israeli spy agencies and foiling Zionist plots against the great Islamic Republic. Perhaps its most notable victory, however, was when it busted the Squirrel Spy Ring:

Iranian intelligence operatives recently detained over a dozen squirrels found within the nation’s borders, claiming the rodents were serving as spies for Western powers determined to undermine the Islamic Republic.

“In recent weeks, intelligence operatives have arrested 14 squirrels within Iran’s borders,” state-sponsored news agency IRNA reported. “The squirrels were carrying spy gear of foreign agencies, and were stopped before they could act, thanks to the alertness of our intelligence services.”

Iranian police commander Esmaeil Ahmadi-Moqadam confirmed the report, saying that a number of squirrels had been caught bearing foreign spy gear within Iran’s borders.

Tragically, Iran did not make their trial public. As far as we can tell, the squirrels did not enjoy even basic prisoner rights such as the right to a lawyer or a phone call. The Red Cross never visited the squirrels. We fear that the poor rodents are no longer with us.

Forget Human Rights Watch — where is PETA when we need them?

Next: Who needs drone planes if you have these birds?

5. Pigeons with Invisible Strings

Only a year after the ever-vigilant Iranians discovered the squirrels with spy equipment, they stumbled across another Zionist animal spy plot.

One of the pigeons was caught near a rose water production plant in the city of Kashan in Isfahan province, the Etemad Melli newspaper reported. It said that some metal rings and ”invisible” strings were attached to the bird, suggesting that it might have been somehow communicating what it had seen with the equipment it was carrying.

“Early this month, a black pigeon was caught bearing a blue-coated metal ring, with invisible strings,” a source told the newspaper.

The source gave no further description of the pigeons, nor what their fate might be.

Natanz is home to Iran’s heavily-bunkered underground uranium enrichment plant, which is also not far from Kashan.

Iran has extraordinarily sensitive spy equipment, meant to find things as hard to detect as invisible strings. Being invisible, they are also weightless, so presumably they could be followed back all the way to the secret Zionist animal facilities in Haifa (oops! Forget I said that!).

These invisible strings have an entire host of military and civilian applications, most famously to spin clothing for great emperors.

4. Jewish Jellyfish

Sharks were not the only deadly sea creatures hiding off of Egypt’s coast. They also have special Mossad-trained lethal jellyfish. From Egyptian TV, from the same diving instructor who talked about the remote-controlled sharks:

Mustafa Ismail: Do you remember that when we were kids, the jellyfish in Alexandria would sting? Back home, in Al-Ghardaqa and in the Red Sea, you could roll the jellyfish in your hands and nothing would happen. Okay? There are all kinds of jellyfish. We would cut them up with a knife and use them for fish bait.

For some years now, there is a phenomenon nobody is talking about. Killing, paralyzing jellyfish have appeared in Al-Ghardaqa and on the Red Sea. Who brought these jellyfish there?

Interviewer: Who?

Mustafa Ismail: Who indeed?

Ah, that’s the question. Who, indeed, is responsible for the lethal, paralyzing jellyfish of the Red Sea?

Hmmm. That’s a toughie.

Or, maybe the jellyfish were just sick of being cut up for bait, and wanted their revenge. Hard to say.

Next: Israel’s allies also use animals of mass destruction.

3. Basra badgers

Not directly Zionist, but pretty close:

Word spread among the populace that UK troops had introduced strange man-eating, bear-like beasts into the area to sow panic.

But several of the creatures, caught and killed by local farmers, have been identified by experts as honey badgers.

The rumours spread because the animals had appeared near the British base at Basra airport.

Maybe it was Bigfoot?

2. Slithering Zio-snakes:

Arabs in the West Bank not only have to deal with sheep, lions and wild Zionist pigs. They also have to worry about Israeli snakes:

Eyewitnesses said a snake at least one meter long bit a woman on farmland near Salfit.

Locals, who have often accused Ariel settlers of releasing wild boars into villages and farmland, said the snake might have escaped from the nearby settlement.

As with the other creatures, the snakes are well trained to distinguish their Arab prey from other humans. My guess is that they use pheromones.

Next: And the number one Zionist animal conspiracy theory is…

1. Mosquitoes of Mass Destruction:

From oxymoronically-named website Islamic-Intelligence (turn your speakers down when you visit):

Israel is now using mosquitoes as a vector for bioweapons. This is far more dangerous than any nucelar [sic] weapon and can kill entire populations on a continent.

Their proof was that a mosquito researcher committed suicide. Why else would he have done such a thing if he wasn’t secretly working on mosquito WMD? I mean, a three year old could figure that out!

Also, the Mossad has been accused of infecting mosquitoes with HIV to infect Arabs. Lethal indeed.

How are the Jews so successful at training animals to carry out such spectacular feats of harassment, espionage, and assassinations?

Almost certainly the answer can be found in the Koran, where evil Jews were turned into apes and pigs. Clearly, that experience acclimated Jews to being part of the animal kingdom, and they learned over the centuries how to communicate with other animals and teach them to do their bidding.

Which just goes to show that no matter what you do to the Jews, they always manage to find a way to make it work out for them. They’re as clever as a fox, aren’t they?

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