I always liked The Kids in the Hall. It was one of the few TV programs on the CBC that I’ve ever watched, so I didn’t resent supporting it with my extorted tax dollars. My friends and I admired The Kids’ uncanny ability to capture the mundane horrors of cubicle life at all levels, from CEO to temp, and duly adopted lots of their catchphrases.
But like their comedic counterparts at “the Corpse” (The Royal Canadian Air Farce, This Hour Has 22 Minutes), they occasionally lapsed into brainless anti-Americanism, just not as frequently.
Up here, it’s a running, well, joke that comedians are one of Canada’s major exports, starting with Wayne & Shuster (who hold the record for appearances on The Ed Sullivan Show) to Jim Carrey, Harold Ramis, Eugene Levy, Mike Myers and any number of SNL/National Lampoon writers.
However, The Kids never made the leap across the border, except as hipster cult favorites. Too weird, too dark, too “high concept”? Hard to say.
Now one of The Kids is finally moving to America for good, but not because he’s signed a development deal or landed a juicy role.
Having built his early career at our expense, Dave (News Radio) Foley is now decamping to the US — to escape our notoriously feminist, anti-male, “progressive” child support system.
I have mixed feelings about alimony and child support. My deadbeat dad died owing me countless thousands of dollars in support; while my mother and I lived below the poverty line, he hung out drinking at the golf course and the race track.
However, I’m also on a Canadian “father’s rights” mailing list, which has hipped me to our twisted “women are always right” justice system.
At the extreme end, women who kill get much shorter sentences than male murderers (who get ridiculously short sentences to begin with.) But every day, (non-violent) men like Dave Foley face situations like this one:
Foley explained during an interview on comedian Marc Maron’s podcast that he was recently ordered by an Ontario Family Court judge to pay his first wife and two teenage sons more than he has been able to earn.
“I’m happy to give away half my money, that would be great,” said Foley. “But I’m literally obligated to give away 400 per cent of my income, or otherwise go to jail.
“The judge even said, if I was paralyzed from the neck down, I would still be responsible for having to earn a million dollars a year.” (…)
While he was re-married to American actress Chrissy Guerrero a few years later, and the couple had a daughter in 2003, Foley said the strain of having to pay spousal and child support for his first marriage contributed to the recent dissolution of the second one.
Foley explained the latest ruling stated he remains on the hook to Southey whether or not he is able to earn the money, and whether or not he is alive.
So, for the time being, Foley has planned to hunker down in Los Angeles.
“I don’t think I would take to jail well,” he said.
(Indeed, that’s more “Buddy Cole’s” forte…)
The friend who emailed me this information about Foley thoughtfully added a video (see below) that will give you an idea of who you’re about to “welcome” into your country!
Remember: Dave Foley gets to live in the United States. And I don’t.