In keeping with the new “tone of civility” that everyone on the Left is demanding, Terry Krepel (Media Matters basement-dweller) has expressed himself with all the dignity and decorum he could muster. In response to my daring criticism of the horrid, gag-reflex inducing wardrobe on the first lady of the United States, Krepel displayed typical leftist etiquette when talking about a conservative woman.
If Fox thinks that not calling Michelle Obama ugly is the worst thing the media has done, there’s no need to lose sleep over this. Although, perhaps, Fox ought to for being such a hateful, catty bitch.
Can you feel the civility? It’s just dripping off Krepel’s pen. One imagines this is as close as Krepel ever gets to a relationship with an actual woman. He’s probably one of those masochistic weirdos who, at the moment of intimacy starts screaming obscenities at his date (full-on Tourette’s style). One of the reasons I had to take on the sacred cow (the first lady’s wardrobe) is specifically because of reactions like this. First, Krepel lied. I never called Michelle Obama ugly. I simply pointed out that the press has completely ignored some of the most hideous fashion choices we’ve ever seen in the White House. They would never have ignored it if Laura Bush wore a dress tighter than a sausage casing and approximately two sizes too small, without the courtesy of donning a girdle. When I look at these photos I can actually hear Clairee Belcher drawling, “Looks like two pigs fightin’ under a blanket.”
Continuing to ignore these huge, glaring fashion missteps only serves to give my side more ammunition (*wink*) to accuse the media of being in the bag for Obama. Seriously, look at the back view again. Does she own a mirror? She’s the first lady. She’s not some housewife on a budget (although we wish she would stick to a budget) who can’t afford to have someone check out the view from behind before she goes out in public. This is just embarrassing. I think for her birthday (which was yesterday) we should all pitch in and send her some Spanx and a guide to proper tailoring. And would someone introduce her to a suit jacket? If I see one more dirty, ratty cardigan at an official gathering I’m going to sell my laptop and shoot out out my TV.
I expect the first lady of the United States to conduct herself with propriety and elegance, which includes taking a basic protocol class that covers not touching the Queen of England inappropriately or wearing a shlumpy cardigan to Buckingham Palace. And I expect the media not to compare anyone to Jackie O who wears such hideous things as that rag above, and if they do, I reserve the right to call them on it. If that makes me a hateful, catty bitch, carve it in stone and nail it to my office door. (I may have cards printed.)