There’s a famous children’s story, perhaps you’ve heard of it.
Many years ago there lived an Emperor, who was so excessively fond of grand new clothes that he spent all his money upon them, that he might be very fine. He did not care about his soldiers, nor about the theatre, and only liked to drive out and show his new clothes. He had a coat for every hour of the day; and just as they say of a king, “He is in council,” so they always said of him, “The Emperor is in the wardrobe.”
Have you guessed? Yes, it’s The Emperor’s New Clothes by Hans Christian Andersen. This famous story is of a proud emperor who gets swindled by scoundrels who claim to be able to weave the finest, thinnest fabric in the world and only those who are wise and worthy can see it. Those who cannot see it are said to be stupid and not fit for their positions. The scoundrels weave garments out of nothing and trick the emperor into parading in the streets naked. Not one of the subjects wishes to be seen as ignorant and so they all praise the non-existent garments until a small child shouts out the truth. The emperor is naked!
I feel like that child when I see Michelle Obama dressed up in something like this. (Are those pantaloons?)
If the press hadn’t started this Jackie O comparison, I probably wouldn’t be writing this. But they did and the small honest child inside me is screaming, “She’s no Jackie O!” And it’s relevant because what else do we talk about regarding the first lady except her one platform (which gets boring) and her wardrobe (which will be hanging in the Smithsonian one day soon.) Michelle definitely has some elegant outfits. But more often than not, she’s wearing the worst of what is hanging in her closet. I defy anyone to find a photo of Jackie O looking as crazy as this.
And yet, the press (even the mean-queen Joan Rivers) is silent on what can only be described (truthfully) as a hot mess. Of all the strange and borderline absurd outfits in the first lady’s closet, this next one bothered me the most. As the FLOTUS, Michelle should recognize that she represents this country at all times and when stepping off of Air Force One she should know there are going to be photographers beaming her image across the world. Put on a suit, smile for the cameras and then go change into your vacation-wear at the (very expensive) hotel we put you up in. Do not get off Air Force One wearing something most people wouldn’t even wear to pull weeds.
And then, just for laughs we have the ever-present, not easily understood and always growing Klingon War Belt collection. Thank God for the Internet and snarky writers with blogs! Without them, we would be subjected to the grovelling, sycophantic praise of outfits that are simply head-scratch worthy. I don’t get this. Michelle can look great. I’ve seen it. Why does she do this to herself?
Whose bright idea was this giant belt (wide enough to retread your tires) over the little cardigan? Is anyone wearing this look but her? I haven’t seen it anywhere. If Michelle really was like Jackie O, who inspired an entire era of fashion, every mom on the block would be belting their cardigans with mini corsets. I’ve seen the belts…but not like this. This is something so special it has inspired another Web site (doing the job the old press used to do.)
They’re going to have to add an entire wing to the Smithsonian just to house Michelle’s belts! A famous play in the leftist handbook is to keep repeating a lie until people believe it’s true. There is a concerted effort by the media to tell us the first lady is the most fashionable first lady they’ve ever seen. But our eyes keep contradicting their claims. The hypnosis job isn’t working on me. How about you?