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What Happens If… (A Fun New Muslim Game!)

Posted on January 4 2011 7:00 pm
Diane Schrader, a former television news writer/producer, lives with her family in Los Angeles. She likes a nice cup of tea. Follow her on Twitter.
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A lot of us found brand new board games, or electronic games, under the Christmas tree a week or so ago. But you haven’t seen this one yet! Gather your friends, and play along – it’s kind of like Trivial Pursuit, but the trivia you’re pursuing is all about the religion of peace!

Q: What happens if you disagree with Islamic law in an Islamic country?

A: Well, you die – even if you are a bigshot. Today, the governor of the Pakistani Punjab province was shot dead… by one of his own guards! Apparently, the governor expressed a wee bit o’ displeasure over Pakistan’s blasphemy laws (under which a Christian woman was recently sentenced to death for insulting Mohammed). So, naturally, a true follower of Islam took care of it. Problem. Solved.

Q: What happens if you practice journalism in an Islamic country?

A: Well, you spend some serious time in a third-world slammer. As National Review’s Benjamin Weinthal reports today, the Germans may have reached the limit of their patience with Iran (and as Weinthal notes, they may be done coddling the Iranians) – this as two German journalists have now spent 86 days incarcerated in a prison in the city of Tabriz. Their crime? Interviewing family members of Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani — a woman sentenced to death by stoning for alleged adultery.

Wait a second. I need to take a little time-out in our fun new game.

A woman was sentenced to death for insulting Mohammed in Pakistan? And another woman was sentenced to death for (alleged) adultery in Iran? What is wrong with these Muslims, anyway? It’s almost as if they are brainwashed from childhood.

Okay back to our game.

Q: What happens if you are a child in an Islamic country?

A: Well, you get to watch special TV programs made just for you. Like this, from Hamas’ Al-Aqsa TV. (I know, I know – it’s not on your cable lineup. YET.)

You have to admit – you may find Sesame Street and Barney the Dinosaur vaguely Left-ish… but they never taught your kids to sing “May our blood be shed for Allah”! YET.

Q: What happens if you’re a Christian in an Islamic country?

A: Well, if you’re celebrating Mass in Egypt, the answer is – Kaboom. And then, instead of racing in to try to save you, some folks run around yelling Allahu Akbar, which basically means, “screw you, infidels”:

So, game players, how’d you do? Isn’t that a lot of fun?

No? Well, I guess you’re right. After all, this is definitely a game where there are no winners at all.

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