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More Help From The Nanny State: Your Minutes Are High, Your Toilet Paper Supply Is Low.

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Posted on January 3 2011 4:00 pm
Divorced Dad of three. Collection A.V.P. by day, humor/political blogger after the evening dishes. Looking for hot/wealthy/uber-lifted Scottsdale Granny for hi-jinks, hiking, and Saturday-morning coffee. Is this e-harmony?

In the latest effort to save ourselves from, well, us, our friends at Care2 have posted a nifty little petition you can sign if you are fed up with your cell phone minutes running out because you are too stupid or lazy to figure it out on your own:

With back-and-forth texting, endless calls and family plans with kids who download at unexpected costs, it’s easy to get a shocking cell phone bill.

We can end cell phone bill shock and stay in control of our service with a simple solution: updates when we are near our limits.

In Europe, cell phone customers get a quick call or text when they’re getting near their usage limits, and another when they hit those limits. Cell phone users stay aware of their phone use and can adjust their behavior to avoid a surprisingly high bill.

Support this common sense idea. Tell the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) that you want updates on cell phone bill limits to become the law in the U.S. — and end cell phone bill shock!

Actually, the more I think about it, the more awesome the whole idea sounds…you could receive a whole series of updates, right there on your Blackberry Protem! Oil need changing? Pantry running out of essentials like Bulgur wheat and barley? Charmin on the wane? You could get a text message (or audio, if you’re blind or handicapped by the inability to read), direct from the FCC, an organization that is world-renowned for its sense of fairness. King Solomon had nothing on these guys!

Actually, the messages could be personalized, so that you would feel like you actually had a friend out there in a cold, uncaring world:

“Hey, John, it’s Marty over at the FCC. How was your weekend? Say, your toilet paper supply is running pretty low…I’d get on down to Safeway if I were you, because we both know that Brawny just doesn’t cut it (laughter.) How are the kids, anyway? OK, gotta go, someone in Michigan is out of canned apricots. See ya the next time!”

If there’s any thesis I subscribe to, it’s that the Left will win the battle for the hearts and minds of Americans, mostly because so many of us are lacking the fortitude to make decisions on our own – we have slipped into a netherworld of dependence on our betters in Washington DC. Let them handle it, we’re just too damn tired…besides, there’s a new episode of “Cribs” on right now, Marty just  notified me and told me I might be interested. He says it’s free for agreeing to get out the vote in 2012.

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