I know that you are frustrated with your “investment” in the election but look at these 10 things we have accomplished in less than two short years.
1) Healthcare – So I had to “exaggerate” the benefits of Obamacare. But the deed is done! The bottom line is that we are well on our way to nationalizing one sixth of the economy. We passed a 2400 page law filled with goodies for our friends that almost no one had time to read. Could we do that today? No way. Our timing was perfect.
2) Control – We have had control of social security, medicare, the post office, General Motors and Amtrak. They are all either bankrupt or losing lots of money. We control homeowners through Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. Private lenders can’t compete because our rates are subsidized by the taxpayers. So what if there is no accountability and we are hemorrhaging billions. Let’s be “Frank”! Next is student loans. We’ll put Sallie Mae out of business and do what we want. If you protest against us, no loan! More government means more power!
3) Government agencies – What we can’t win through the ballot box we’ll do through liberal courts and my agency and czar appointments. I have installed committed leftists at Justice (Holder) and FCC (Genachowski). And right down the line. Don’t you like how Holder refused to prosecute the Black Panthers for obstructing the 2008 election. That energizes my base! How about the FCC threatening to regulate the internet and tie up the airwaves? What a stroke of genius to equate FOX and MSNBC. If we got rid of both, our enemy would be pretty much silenced, but no one even watches MSNBC! If you have any more leftist appointments you want, please let me know. We may have lost Van Jones, but we will win the war!
4) Deficit/ Debt – We keep spending like drunken sailors and piling on debt under the “ruse” of stimulating the economy. Your friends may be pouting a little, but the new tax deal I negotiated with the Republicans will create even bigger deficits! At some point, the dollar will collapse or we will have to print money. Talk about turning a crisis into an opportunity for “change”.
5) The election – Yeah, we lost the House. But now we can demonize the Republicans as we go into 2012. Your marijuana initiative in California was a stroke of genius. It brought out all of the potheads and we keep control of the State, from top to bottom! And with a $20 billion annual deficit, they have no place to turn except us. Forget about states’ rights! I endorse your plan to get the marijuana initiative on as many other state ballots as possible. So what if it loses. It brings out the liberal potheads. And if the enemy puts abortion or gay marriage initiatives on ballots, who cares? Their people vote anyway.
6) Secretaries of State – George, I have to hand it to you. We “won” every contested election last month. We couldn’t have done it without stacking the deck at the Secretary of State level. Karl Rove wasn’t smart enough to focus on that! A perfect payback for letting Bush take Florida in 2002.
7) Immigration – Every day we do nothing on illegal immigrants another 500 or so sneak over the border. It’s perfect! They don’t pay taxes. They will someday vote for us because we are the party that “cares” and the party of government handouts. Over 40% of voters don’t pay taxes now. Wait until we get over 50%! They will never be able to stop us!
8) Israel – What can I say? If we let Iran have the bomb it will be out of our hands. No President has ever been able to solve this problem and I am not going to waste my energy trying to be the first. Let Hillary and State waste their time. As far as the rest of the world goes, the Putins, Ahmadinejads and Chavez’s have all the oil. They are in the driver’s seat. We have to be more friendly to them. Don’t you agree?
9) Muslims – Let them build at ground zero. Who cares what they do? If the threat gets bigger that’s just more crises that will have our citizens looking to us as saviors. Europe will go down before we do. Will Notre Dame become a mosque? If so, it will be a good reason for me to visit Paris.
10) Military – Forget “don’t ask, don’t tell”. We’ll get rid of that! How about “show and tell” instead? That will certainly rile up those generals.
George, keep the faith. It is all about control. Our citizens are too stupid to see that their freedoms are being taken away right before their eyes. They are too worried about the economy, football, and Lindsey Lohan. We may have had a few bumps in the road, but our grand plan is still intact!
P.S. When your lawyer pals speak to Julian, thank him for me!
P.P.S. Why did you change your last name from Schwartz to Soros?