‘Twas the night before Kwanzaa
And all through the ‘hood,
Maulana Karenga was up to no good.
The Sixties were over. Now what would he do?
Why, he went back to school — so that’s “Dr.” to you!
He once ordered shootouts at UCLA
Now he teaches Black Studies just miles away.
Then to top it all off, the good Doctor’s new plan
Was to get rid of Christmas and piss off The Man.
“You don’t get what’s ‘black’ about Maoist baloney?
You say that my festival’s totally phony?
“Umoja! Ujima! Kujichagulia, too!
Collectivist crap never sounded so cool!
Those guilty white liberals — easy to fool.
Your kids will now celebrate Kwanzaa in school!”
And we heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight:
“Happy Kwanzaa to all, except if you’re white!”