8. The UN Seems To Lack Esteemed, Credible Spokespersons…Unless You Count Dictators.
If you’re anything like me, you tend to think of the people who attend functions like the Cancun Climate Conference and other UN-related scientific gatherings as being the lab coat and Coke-bottle glasses types who pore over their computer models and rarely emerge into the outdoors that they claim is killing us all. There are actually a surprising number of diplomats, statesmen, and politicians who attend events like these. Some of them actually utter some fascinating things.
Take Christiana Figueres, the Executive Secretary for the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change, for example. On multiple occasions, Figueres conjured up the name of Ixchel, the Mayan jaguar goddess. I’m not sure, but I think that she may also be the goddess of terrible metaphors, and she smiled broadly on Figueres:
In my opening speech last Monday, I mentioned that we are in the land of the ancient Mayan goddess Ixchel, goddess of reason, creativity and weaving. Over the past week, I have found it encouraging to see that she has inspired you to use reason and creativity to weave together some of the elements of your response to climate change. Much good work has already come out of the draft decisions you have prepared under both the SBI and the SBSTA. You have also used creativity and reason to begin to fill in some of the holes in the tapestry of the KP and the LCA. But we all know that is not enough. [Emphasis mine]
This is what passes for inspiring rhetoric at the United Nations these days.
Another brilliant example is Socialist Bolivian President Evo Morales, who was named “World Hero of Mother Earth” by the UN General Assembly in 2009. Morales added a bit of fiery rhetoric to the stuffy proceedings:
Participants described the meetings as businesslike and largely free of the cant and bluster that has marred past sessions, although for fans of drama, the fiery Bolivian leader Evo Morales did not disappoint.
“We talk about the effects and not the causes of the multiple crises we face: the climate crisis, the food crisis, the energy crisis,” Mr. Morales said. “The climate crisis is one of the crises of capitalism.”
He warned of the dire outcome if delegates did not renew the Kyoto agreement, which binds rich nations to emissions targets and directs a flow of money to poorer nations to adapt to the effects of climate change.
“If, from here, we send the Kyoto Protocol to the rubbish bin, we are responsible for ecocide and genocide, because we will be sending many people to their deaths,” Mr. Morales said.
Tell us how you really feel about capitalism, President Morales! All this from the man who, earlier this year at another climate summit, blamed baldness and homosexuality on the presence of alleged hormones injected into chickens:
Bolivian President, Evo Morales, has surprised his audience by ensuring that the chickens of industrial production are responsible for “deviations” of men for homosexuality and baldness in Europe.
“The chicken we eat is loaded with female hormones. Therefore, men who eat these chickens have deviations in their being as men,” Morales told thousands of people at the opening of the Peoples of the World Conference on Climate Change and the Rights of Mother Earth.
He also added, to the consequences of this type of food, baldness, and prophesied: “At fifty, everyone will be bald.” According to the president, these data demonstrate that the “West brings increasingly more and more poison.”
The idea that hormones are added to poultry in commercial farms is considered a myth without foundation by specialists.
It seems they’ll let anybody into these conventions these days, especially eccentric, anti-Western, anti-capitalist dictators.