Parenting is hard. The modern mom is supposed to do it all: Help pay the mortgage, bake the cookies, and raise socially conscious, compassionate children. We are supposed to purposefully expose our progeny to all religions, lifestyles, and backgrounds in the name of diversity. And we’re not supposed to let them play with evil toys like stick ponies, Barbies, or trampolines.
Tree houses? Forget about it. They’re super-duper dangerous and should be torn down immediately.
Forbes recently published a list of dangerous toys that were recalled in 2010 for safety reasons. The list includes a stick pony (long reins could strangle a child), plush asparagus (wire could poke through and cause abrasions), and a pogo stick (falling risk). Obviously parents are too stupid to check over their kids’ toys for loose or broken parts, or understand the “falling risk” associated with pogo sticks.
While we’re busy cutting up our kids’ hotdogs, we are supposed to broaden their worldview and encourage their minds to open into tolerant little sponges of acceptance. We’re not supposed to care that Kevin Jennings, Obama’s Safe School Czar, promotes the sexual education of children as young as five. That’s not morally deplorable, that’s progressive!
On a recent episode of Nickelodeon’s popular tween show “iCarly,” the word hobknocker was used several times by a British character to mock and insult the main characters of the show — Carly, Sam, and Freddy. When Carly and Freddy said they didn’t know what the word meant, Sam whispered it them. They replied with, “Ew! That’s disgusting!” to which Sam responded, “and illegal.”
My seven-year-old daughter was curious as to the meaning of the word, so we looked it up. “iCarly” will no longer be watched in our house.