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Kathy Shaidle

Tin Foil Turbans: The 6 Stupidest Conspiracy Theories that Millions of Muslims Believe

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Posted on November 7 2010 11:00 am
Kathy Shaidle blogs at FiveFeetOfFury, now entering its 11th year online. Her latest book is Acoustic Ladylandkathy shaidle, which Mark Steyn calls "a must-read."

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#5  The Incredible Shrinking Penis


Last month mass hysteria apparently swept the capital city, Khartoum, after reports that foreigners were shaking hands with Sudanese men and causing their penises to disappear. One victim, a fabric merchant, told his story to the London Arabic newspaper Al-Quds Al-Arabi. A man from West Africa came into the shop and “shook the store owner’s hand powerfully until the owner felt his penis melt into his body.”

I know the feeling. The same thing happened to me after shaking hands with Sen. Clinton.

Mark Steyn, 2003

On Twitter last night, I asked my followers to play “unpaid intern” and DM me links to the weirdest Muslim conspiracy theory they’d ever heard. Most mentioned the “shrinking penis” urban legend that was, er, big in the Muslim world a few years back.

Needless to say, the Jews were blamed for this imaginary phenomenon.

As Steyn remarks, this primitive ignorance is being spread by modern technology, which pours cold water on the notion that if only Muslims are dragged from the past into the present and exposed to 21st century ways, they’ll give up their unenlightened mass hysteria:

The telling detail of the vanishing penis hysteria is that it was spread by text messaging. You can own a cell phone, yet still believe that foreigners are able with a mere handshake to cause your penis to melt away.

And come to think of it: if you own a cell phone, it probably runs on Israeli technology.

Of course, even that’s all part of the Jews’ evil plan!!

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