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Kathy Shaidle

Phase 2? South Park “Underpants Gnome” Business Plan Mystery Solved!

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Posted on September 25 2010 1:00 pm
Kathy Shaidle blogs at FiveFeetOfFury, now entering its 11th year online. Her latest book is Acoustic Ladylandkathy shaidle, which Mark Steyn calls "a must-read."
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By me. Ha!

You all know what I’m talking about.

Now, I’ve stumbled upon the answer to the “?” part.

Bear with me, ok? But it seems to go something like this:

A guy writes this actual sentence:

“This fatuous infatuation with the Constitution, particularly the 10th Amendment, is clearly the work of witches, wiccans and wackos.”

The newspaper publishes it.

In the newspaper.

(I know, huh…?)

And then — get this:

Everybody gets paid.

Yeah, it’s a pretty shaky business model, and it sounds like fiction or satire, but from what I can make out, this happened!

And they put it right out there for everybody to see, like those stupid Founding Fathers who secretly hid ultra super secret Masonic Illuminati symbols on zillions of little pieces of green paper people use every day just to survive.

More investigation required, but I’m pretty sure I’m onto something that could rake me in some serious “Phase 3: Profit”.

What are you laughing at? It’s no worse than this, right?

Newspaper executives and analysts have learned the last few years never to say, “At least it can’t get any worse.”

After advertising revenues fell by a total of 23% in 2007 and 2008, they tumbled 26% more in 2009.

The good news at the end of 2009 and headed into 2010 was that the declines were less bad…

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