1. Matthew Modine Wants To Hug It Out. With Osama Bin Laden
This Spring, Matthew Modine divulged the full depth of his idiocy when he declared – unironically – that he wants to just hang and have a nice rap session with Osama Bin Laden. No, really.
Imagine if somebody were to really sit down with Osama Bin Ladin and say, “Listen man, what is it that you’re so angry at me about that you’re willing to have people strap bombs to themselves, or get inside of airplanes and fly them into buildings?” That would be the miracle if we can get, sit down and talk to our enemies and have a fine way for them to hear us.
“Listen, man. Why are you being all hater-y and stuff?” Um. We’re actually speechless. He really thinks someone can just hug it out with Osama Bin Laden. We’re only surprised he didn’t add “I can haz cookie now?” Sadly, this isn’t the first time that Matthew “I’m a total moron” Modine has uttered absolute tripe:
“I mean, he got shot down three times!” said Modine, taking on one of McCain’s most lauded personal accomplishments. “That’s not success!” While on a bombing mission over North Vietnam, McCain was shot down and held as a prisoner of war. When McCain’s father was named commander of U.S. forces in Vietnam, the future Arizona Senator was offered an early release, but rejected it because his captors would not also released his fellow American P.O.W.s.
That kind of loyalty has earned McCain endless accolades, but Modine thinks that McCain’s rejection of the release offer is yet another example of McCain’s shortcomings. “And he wasn’t even a good prisoner of war,” said Modine. “He should have left as soon as he could. That’s what you’re supposed to do as a prisoner of war: Leave when you can. It defeats the enemy. It makes them look bad and it weakens them.”
McCain got shot down three times, fighting for his country, and that’s something mockable to the ever douche-y Modine. Plus, McCain staying with his men, enduring further torture, makes him “not a good prisoner of war?” That’s funny, coming from someone who sits on his ass all day long, spewing the most inane things imaginable.
It was also personal with Modine. That latest asinine spewing of what can only loosely be called thought — and an offense to the English language — only served to remind us that Modine is still alive. And super old. Which means that we are super old, too. For that, he must pay.
Matthew Modine offers further proof that the movie “Clueless” should have been made about Hollywood.