2. How I Survived Being Stalked by Über Creepy Karl Rove
In this chapter, Meghan recorded her bizarre cyber stalking fantasy featuring the one, the only, The Architect Karl Rove. Here’s a taste:
Karl Rove is a total creep. You have NO idea. He follows me on Twitter. All the time! How freaky is that? Like I wrote in my groundbreaking Daily Beast column last year (where they PAY ME to write!!), “I’ve never met him in person, which only makes our Twitter relationship even weirder.” I wonder if the other people he Twitter stalks are as freaked out as I am. At first he was all boring and stuff, but then I realized, this pervo hangs on my every word. He knows what I eat, what I wear to bed … he even knows which celebrities totally heart me for being all mavericky like my dad.
I’m sorry, but I’m a liberated progressive Republican woman and I have a constitutional right to tweet about my sex-positivity without creepy Karl in the mix. I swear he was on the verge of sending me stuff like this:
And don’t get me started on Sheriff Joe Arpaio. He wants me bad, the dirty old lech.
But I learned so, so much from what I went through, like how to put those dot thingies over the U in the word Über. And that violence against women is totally real and can happen to anyone even if your dad is a famous maverick. It really almost could have sort of happened to me if not for my awesome and supportive Twitter fam. Love you guys! Shout out!
This sort of inanity might have made it past editorial scrutiny at The Daily Beast (where they’re usually laughing at Meghan, not with her), but the team at Hyperion wasn’t having it. The chapter was cut when they realized that Senator McCain’s daughter was one of more than 13,000 people being “followed” by Rove back in April 2009 when the alleged creepiness took place. In all likelihood, Meghan’s number one Twitter creep was completely (and blissfully) unaware of her tweets. That, of course, didn’t stop her from imagining up a faux controversy to help her meet her Daily Beast deadline.
