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Mauro in Israel Day 6: “My Ass is on Fire!”

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Posted on August 7 2010 5:30 pm
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Ein Karem. Jealous of me yet?

Thank you to Stand With Us’ Once in a Lifetime project for making this trip possible!

That last thing I need on this trip is to have something inserted into my ass—especially thorns—lots of thorns. So we’re doing a nice hike around the mountains of Jerusalem and we go to rest in some shade. I go to sit next to one of the Stand With Us students and then it happened. I let out a war cry and jump up and turn around to see a whole bunch of balls of thorns stuck right in my butt.

For the most part, taking them out didn’t hurt (especially considering I had one of the young ladies assisting me) except for one pretty deep one that I’m sure caused some minor bleeding. Luckily, I got to a spring and I no longer need to complain about the feeling of a raging fire on my ass.

But today was still a rather comedic series of injuries. Soon after, I walked through some brush and got some vicious pricks on my legs and behind. I stubbed my toe on a rock and now it hurts to bend because I decided it’d be a genius idea to go on a hike with sandals. Later, another blogger named Dan (see the other bloggers at the link at the top) got delirious from the heat and started talking nonsense about how a certain spot in Ein Karem “looks just like it did last time” despite the fact he’s never been to Israel before. He even starts leading the group making comments about how we’re at the right place. And he doesn’t remember any of this. Prior to that, he cannonballed into a spring and slammed his ass on rock. Then, later, he accidentally poured extremely hot tea on Chas, another blogger.

Why am I telling you this? Because it’s inspiring. If three clumsy idiots like us can be successful in the world of blogging, then all of you doubting your futures can know our spots are probably up for grabs.

Tomorrow we’re off to Tel Aviv for a couple of days, which means I need to get lots of sleep, bring lots of ibuprofen, and build up my self-esteem to withstand numerous blows from embarrassing moments.

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