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Mauro in Israel Day 3: When a Man’s Gotta Go, a Man’s Gotta Go

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Posted on August 5 2010 11:00 am
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Thank you to Stand With Us’ Once in a Lifetime project for making this trip possible!

Yesterday we went to the Temple Mount, the Western Wall, the Wailing Wall, the Jewish Quarter, and throughout the Old City and finished the day with a jaw-dropping Sound and Light Show at the Tower of David—and as amazing as that was, I can’t stop thinking about the best feeling I may have ever encountered.

My new Israeli friends kept pressing the group to drink lots of water. The good boy that I am, I complied. And then when we were at the tunnels to see the underground Western Wall, it hit me. I was either having a baby, or I had to urinate so bad that it was going to start coming out my sweat pours. I left the tour, which was okay since I saw that area last year, and let’s just say, I experienced a little bit of Heaven at that point. The best part was that as I was leaving, I missed an exit and looked awkwardly at a dead end. Security, complete with long shiny guns, came up to me demanding to know what was over there and what I was looking at. By the pain in my face, they knew I wasn’t lying when I told them I had to go.

On another note, what’s really being impressed upon me is how Israel is a card-carrying member of the West. We’re talking about how Lady Gaga really isn’t attractive, how Justin Timberlake stole my chinstrap, and the many great songs by The Lonely Island. “Like a Boss” is now added to the end of many of our sentences.

That’s what Americans and Europeans need to realize. Israelis are, in many ways, representative of you. When their universities and nightclubs are bombed, they aren’t bombing Jewish sites, they are bombing Western sites. Israel may not be right all the time, but attacks on their way of life is an attack on their culture that also defines us in the West. You cannot say you love Western values or society without saying you love Israel.

In a little bit, we’re headed off to Masada for a day at the Dead Sea, which includes a massage. I’m going to live the high life, like a boss.

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