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Twog Wants It Known That He Likes His Porn With Butter And Salt And Dr. Helen Shouldn’t Be Slamming Lifetime

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Posted on April 5 2010 9:32 am
Twog is a creature of mysterious origin who emerged from the bowels of the blogosphere.
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Twog not sharpest lure in tackle box but he know when Humans use code words so he not know about nearby snacks.

Yes has gained weight since landing here, but is trying get in shape: Watching Greg Brady Hip-Hop Jazz Dance video workout and always dodging Liz rapid-fire phone-book assaults besides, so just leave Twog be.

‘Sides, porn healthy and wholesome, and good more than one way: Some like butter/salt, others enjoy in warm milk with dash of sugar.

The real reason Twog mad is his creator liking of Dr. Helen, who sound like very mean person. Who would write something like this about Lifetime Network, which second best to Fox in Twog viewing pleasure:

“Does porn distort men’s attitudes as much as romance novels and Lifetime TV distort women’s?”

Twog have this Helen person know Lifetime all real life stuff. Twog feel for women with such bad days and nights. Where everyone’s common decency?

Twog don extra-cranial blogging helmet and come up with following scenario for Lifetime Episode of Week (“A River For Jocelyn”):

Our lead character, Kate, recently left the madness of her former existence in NYC (ad exec workaholic, high achiever, 3 Cleos, the total respect of her peers) to return home to Framington Township Maine, where she can raise her only Daughter (yes, Kate is divorced from her psychopathic Psychiatrist husband, the evil, insidious, and controlling Dr. Ruben Rothenberg) in at least the approximation of pastoral bliss and happiness that she hasn’t known since her teen years.

Grandma just died, leaving her porch-swinged whitewashed cottage to Kate and daughter (you guessed it) Jocelyn.

Things go well…at first…Jocelyn makes student council and snares the head megaphone duties on the pep squad after an in-your-face rally-cheer smackdown of the totally horrific Ashley Saunders in front of the entire student body during 6th period study hall…and Kate finds some measure of inner peace also, beginning work on her 1st novel…about the advertising business…and even meets a man…a widower at way too early of an age…with 3 wonderful children…the handsomely shy blah blah blah blah blah.”

Twog ask: How can one resist? Have father-son talk with David in a.m.

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