National Organization for Marriage president Maggie Gallagher has made a career out of protecting marriage from The Gay Menace. But now, another threat to marriage has captured her attention: homewrecking sluts.
Here’s what I think: There’s something wrong with a society that permits adultery to become a pathway to commercial success.
Adultery involves twin offenses: (1) the violation by a married person of his or her vows; and (2) a third party’s decision to invade another person’s marriage, to seek their own personal satisfaction at the expense of the unknowing and unconsenting spouse.
“You can’t legislate morality,” we are always told. Maybe not, but perhaps we could come up with a way to encourage a little common decency. On behalf of the injured wives, is there really nothing we can do to throw a little sand on the wheels of their marketing machines?
And of course, law suits and common decency go hand in hand. What better way to “encourage a little common decency” than to forgive the adulterer (who is always male in Gallagherland) and sue the panties off the gutterslut who invaded the marriage? A few hundred thou in the bank ought to salve any broken heart.
Gallagher is also outrageously outraged by a Web Site That Must Not Be Named “whose commercial niche is helping arrange adulterous liaisons for married men.” She’s referring to the gimmicky extramarital hook-up site AshleyMadison.com, and she’d like to see the owners held legally liable for facilitating adultery.
Some of the men hooking up through Web sites that advertise adultery probably live in states where adultery is still technically against the law, or where torts of criminal conversation or alienation of affection exist. An injured spouse or an aggressive state attorney general could make a case out of this.
But we could also update these older torts of adultery with new language that makes explicit that commercial enterprises that intentionally and explicitly attempt to profit from acts of adultery expose themselves to lawsuits by the injured wife and children.
What other businesses might be profiting from adultery? The local No-Tell Motel? The dark and smoky bar two towns over where nobody knows your husband?
Maybe we should ban divorce attorneys. After all, a happily married man might see an ad for one and be overcome with an unshakable desire to pull the plug on his perfectly healthy marriage. And the attorney would profit.
AshleyMadison.com is arguably tacky, but the site doesn’t cause affairs. No one is being strong-armed into logging on and entering credit card details. We’re all responsible for what we do with our bodies, and it’s the people who cheat that cause affairs.
Greg Gutfeld explains this in the context of Jesse James cheating on Sandra Bullock:
Fact is, it doesn’t matter who you’re married to – men desire sexual novelty more than anything, and it’s up to them to rein it in. Many of them can’t. Case in point: this dirtbag James cheats not just on a lovely woman, but a lovely, charming one who happens to be worth millions. But that’s what separates dirtbags from non-dirtbags. Nondirtbags make the effort.
Just this once, can we try to keep the government out of our bedrooms? Can we attempt to address interpersonal problems without litigation or legislation?
You don’t have a right to a fairytale marriage or to be compensated for every perceived slight and hurt feeling. And you certainly don’t have the right to collect punitive damages when a woman gives an interview about sleeping with your husband.
Maggie Gallagher, it’s time to grow up and take the tort lawyer off speed dial.
Hat tip: Hot Air