JE Tabler

Today’s Exploitation of Religion for Political Purposes Fail, Brought to You By Nahhhncy Pelohhhsi

Posted on March 19 2010 6:29 pm
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Dear Nancy Pelosi,

Your nonsensical and transparently socialist diatribe this morning, during which you chose to call us to pray to Saint Joseph, was neither here nor there.

When it is instantly apparent to a Jew that you chose the wrong saint to invoke then it’s pretty obvious you have no idea what you’re talking about.

Saint Joseph is the patron saint of carpenters, social justice, and fathers, so a bill which kills the babies of human parasites with the tax dollars of harder-working people is exactly the last thing with which Saint Joseph should ever be associated.

We know Joseph loved Jesus. His one concern was for the safety of this child entrusted to him. Not only did he leave his home to protect Jesus, but upon his return settled in the obscure town of Nazareth out of fear for his life. When Jesus stayed in the Temple we are told Joseph (along with Mary) searched with great anxiety for three days for him (Luke 2:48). We also know that Joseph treated Jesus as his own son for over and over the people of Nazareth say of Jesus, “Is this not the son of Joseph?” (Luke 4:22).

Saint Joseph risked everything to raise a child who wasn’t his. I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t have endorsed taxpayer-funded abortion. Furthermore, as a Jewish carpenter, it is unlikely that he would have endorsed socialism in any form, being proudly self-reliant and explicitly capitalist.

Furthermore, Speaker Pelosi, Saint Joseph is not particularly revered among Italians or Italian-Americans, as you erroneously stated, nor is today the Feast of Saint Joseph the Worker, which is May 1st and was instituted expressly to counter the socialist pseudo-holiday that is May Day. It is an anti-socialist celebration in May.

Perhaps you were thinking of Saint Januarius, the patron saint of corpses and shady intercession bargains, because he is the only saint I can think of who would be appropriate to invoke on such an occasion as illegally trying to ram through JokerKare. Unlike Saint Joseph the Worker, he is actually revered among Italians, being the patron saint of Naples. He is also quite possibly the creepiest of all the saints, as Mark Twain accurately described in Innocents Abroad:

In this city of Naples, they believe in and support one of the wretchedest of all the religious impostures one can find in Italy — the miraculous liquefaction of the blood of St. Januarius. Twice a year the priests assemble all the people at the Cathedral, and get out this vial of clotted blood and let them see it slowly dissolve and become liquid — and every day for eight days, this dismal farce is repeated, while the priests go among the crowd and collect money for the exhibition. The first day, the blood liquefies in forty-seven minutes — the church is crammed, then, and time must be allowed the collectors to get around: after that it liquefies a little quicker and a little quicker, every day, as the houses grow smaller, till on the eighth day, with only a few dozens present to see the miracle, it liquefies in four minutes.

And here, also, they used to have a grand procession, of priests, citizens, soldiers, sailors, and the high dignitaries of the City Government, once a year, to shave the head of a made-up Madonna — a stuffed and painted image, like a milliner`s dummy — whose hair miraculously grew and restored itself every twelve months. They still kept up this shaving procession as late as four or five years ago. It was a source of great profit to the church that possessed the remarkable effigy, and the ceremony of the public barbering of her was always carried out with the greatest possible eclat and display — the more the better, because the more excitement there was about it the larger the crowds it drew and the heavier the revenues it produced — but at last a day came when the Pope and his servants were unpopular in Naples, and the City Government stopped the Madonna`s annual show.

There we have two specimens of these Neapolitans — two of the silliest possible frauds, which half the population religiously and faithfully believed, and the other half either believed also or else said nothing about, and thus lent themselves to the support of the imposture. I am very well satisfied to think the whole population believed in those poor, cheap miracles — a people who want two cents every time they bow to you, and who abuse a woman, are capable of it, I think.

That sounds more like your guy. He’s a fringe saint who is exploited by the Church for money and by gullible laypeople of questionable faith for personal gain. One typically bargains with Saint Januarius à la, “Caro San Gennaro, I promise I won’t smoke on Fridays if you help me get away with this one bank robbery just this one time, pretty pretty please.”

What a load of Pelosi.


Someone with half a clue

P.S.: How well does playing the Catholic card work in San Francisco, your district?

P.P.S.: Why hasn’t the Catholic church excommunicated you yet? Excommunication was something I always admired about Catholicism and if anything warrants excommunication it’s your entire career. I’m a more devout Catholic than you are and I’m a Jew.

P.P.P.S.: How does a Polish-American instantly become an Italian-American? You said “we” in reference to Italian-Americans. What on earth was that about?

P.P.P.P.S.: President Obama keeps making the case that because he destroyed our economy and people keep losing their jobs that the unemployed are entitled to JokerKare, so what would possess you to state that this bill was for the “workers of America?” Clearly, it’s for people who don’t work at all, or at least that’s how your party has chosen to promote it from day 1.

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