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Green Expo: A Haiku To Allie Gore

Posted on February 26 2010 9:52 am
Divorced Dad of three. Collection A.V.P. by day, humor/political blogger after the evening dishes. Looking for hot/wealthy/uber-lifted Scottsdale Granny for hi-jinks, hiking, and Saturday-morning coffee. Is this e-harmony?
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I have to admit it:

The Librarian has been getting on my nerves lately.

Not content with the occasional intellectual sparring session, my petite and lovely eco-minded lady-friend has now moved into heretofore sacrosanct territory by trying to influence me into becoming an environmental wack-job.

She thinks just because she looks equally hot in an ultra-modern pencil-skirt-and-sweater combo or barefoot in jeans and a tee-shirt, that I will simply fall into place and worship alongside her at the altar of unsmiling and rigid Cap-and-Trade-ism disguised as Save-the-Planet-ism.

Not so.

Her latest salvo is an invitation to be her date at her employer’s Green Festival and Family Bike Ride next month. Here is part of the blurb that she e-mailed:

“The Green Festival is teaming up with the Family Bike Ride and both events are bigger than ever! This free something-for-everyone event is a great opportunity for people of all ages to get a little exercise and learn about water and energy efficiency, alternative transportation, going solar, and many other green-living practices. The annual Family Bike Ride will kick off the green-themed event at 8:00 a.m. The bike ride is suitable for cyclists of all levels and ages. Both long and short routes are available.  Free snacks and water are provided at two rest stops along the route. All participants must wear a bike helmet. For those who do not have a helmet, they can be purchased at the event for $10.

Cyclists and non-cyclists are encouraged to head over to the Green Festival from 9:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. at the Main Library. The event will feature information booths, green-product vendors, free give-a-ways, green-living and desert gardening classes for homeowners, and a family zone powered by Friends for Change with fun and games for all. Be sure to explore the Water Conservation Expo for the latest in water-efficient devices. For a list of activities and classes, visit….”

Blah blah blah.

Like that bit about must wear a helmet? My foxy Circulation Director just doesn’t understand that it isn’t so much about living without fossil fuels as it is about controlling people’s choices in order to force them to follow a ideology developed by people that are much smarter than any of us and know best how we should live.

I will keep working on her – and I’m sure she will do the same with me. In the meantime, enjoy this Haiku that was submitted by “Paul” to the editors of Green Expo, one of the sponsors of the festival. Paul won a $100 Starbucks gift card for his efforts.

Al Gore, where u been
da snow won’t stop until when
natural cause not by men.

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