For those of you who are still on the fence when it comes to the existence of man-made climate change, take note that it has just been legitimized by none other than Osama bin Laden, the leader of the al-Qaeda Islamic terror network.
According to reports from Al Jazeera, the official voice of Islamic terrorism, bin Laden has released another in a series of audio-tapes (a series many hope will soon be cancelled by means of a well-placed Hellfire Missile fired from an unmanned drone, thereby reducing his carbon footprint), in which he not only admits to believing in global warming, but firmly puts the blame on the United States for causing the fictitious crisis in the first place by, among other things, not ratifying the Kyoto Protocol:
Osama bin Laden: Talk about climate change is not an ideological luxury but a reality. All of the industrialized countries, especially the big ones, bear responsibility for the global warming crisis.
This latest, profound message from the supreme jihadist-turned-environmentalist was somewhat different than his previous tapes, in that it contained fewer references to death and gratuitous killing that his vision of Islam has become synonymous with. Instead, bin Laden took the opportunity to show the true depth of his intellect by opining on globalization, climate change, and ending the world’s use of the U.S. dollar as the main global currency in order to deliver a crippling blow to the U.S. economy:
Osama bin Laden: Noam Chomsky was correct when he compared the U.S. policies to those of the Mafia. They are the true terrorists, and therefore we should refrain from dealing in the U.S. dollar and should try to get rid of this currency as early as possible. Bank and government officials in China, Russia and elsewhere have previously floated the idea of abandoning the dollar as the world’s reserve currency, replacing it with a basket of other currencies and commodities such as gold. I know that this has great consequences and grave ramifications, but it is the only means to liberate humanity from slavery and dependence on America.
Obviously, the head of al Qaeda has been spending too much time in his cave reading the collected speeches of Al Gore.