Daily Beast columnist Christopher Buckley has clearly inherited his late, great father’s razor-sharp wit and gift for eloquence, but his political sensibilities fell considerably farther from the tree—so much so that he voted for Barack Obama, based on personal disappointment with John McCain, animosity towards Sarah Palin, and the certainty that Obama was too smart to actually believe all the left-wing baloney he espoused.
Well, after a year of Hope n’ Change, we all know how that turned out. And it’s been enough to make Buckley redirect his pen in The One’s direction, penning a satirical early draft of this year’s State of the Union Address:
Tonight I can report to you that the state of the union, on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being excellent, is a 9.8.
Now, you may ask—and I wouldn’t blame you for asking—how I came up with that number. You might be saying to yourself, “Wait a minute. I’ve got no job, no health insurance. My house isn’t worth half the amount of my mortgage, and I just got called up by the National Guard to do a fifth tour in Afghanistan. How the heck did he come up with 9.8?”
So it’s a good and valid question. And the answer is that 9.8 is pretty good, considering the mess my predecessor and the Republicans left me. Fair enough? I think so.
It’s a great piece, skewering everything from Obama’s economic ineptitude, the sleazy healthcare negotiations, politically-correct national security, and more, concluding with a none-too-subtle jab at Obama’s feelings toward the military:
Now, it is customary on these occasions, after offering the American people bromides and yes, even downright lies about how well the nation is doing, to acknowledge American heroes sitting in the gallery.
Unfortunately, no pilots have landed planes in the Hudson River lately, so we don’t have any of them. But there are a number of Dutch artists with us tonight…
However, one has to ask: should Obama’s first year really have surprised any of us? (Well, okay, even I wasn’t expecting the guy to give foreign dignitaries DVDs they can’t watch, or lecture local police on the proper execution of their duties.) Obama was breaking campaign promises, playing the race card, lying about his horrendous past, consorting with extreme leftists, and advocating single-payer healthcare well before Election Day (oh, and he chose a running mate more incompetent on his best day than Palin on her worst). I hate to say I told you so…
The moral of the story: if somebody tells you his platform consists of what amounts to wrecking the economy, instituting an appeasement-based foreign policy, and expanding government control of the private sector, assuming he’s lying just isn’t worth the risk, no matter how bad a taste the other guy leaves you with. Christopher Buckley seems to have learned this lesson. If so, welcome back.