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Abdulmutallab’s Sex is on Fire

Posted on January 11 2010 9:13 pm
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The crotch bomber gives new meaning to Kings of Leon’s “Sex on Fire.”

I’m outraged at Abdulmutallab’s Christmas Day plot to blow up a Northwest Airlines flight as it landed in Detroit using a bomb hidden in his underwear. He’s a despicable human being, but sometimes after something terrible happens, it takes us awhile to really grasp the damage done.

Enter my status as a fan of the rock band, Kings of Leon. I was on Matt Bruce’s “The Captain’s America” radio show last week when he mentioned how Abdulmutallab’s placement of his explosive was kind of ironic, considering his vision of heaven includes a reward of 72 virgins that are, according to one Saudi scholar, free of phlegm, feces, urine, menstrual cycles and have the “strength of 100 men in eating, drinking and sex.” Not only is he not a martyr, which would guarantee his entry into the sexual paradise the radical Islamists consider heaven to be, but his, umm, “tool” to enjoy that heaven was probably damaged in the process.

Thanks to that insightful analysis by Mr. Bruce, not only did an unappealing image burn into my brain, it gave a whole new meaning to the Kings of Leon’s hit song, “Sex on Fire.” Now, whenever I go to rock out the drums to that song on Guitar Hero, I have to think of Abdulmutallab and the sole casualty of his attempted attack. I then become distracted, miss the notes, and get made fun of by the girls I’m trying to impress (and yes, I know I need to find other ways of working my mojo).

And I know, I know, the press reports did not say that his man-parts were burnt, but they did say he was treated for second and third degree burns on his inner thighs. You don’t need to be an anatomy major to know that, unless he was majorly size-challenged, he had to suffer some damage down there.

There’s actually some room for analysis here. Think about how confident Abdulmutallab must have been in himself (and his Al-Qaeda cohorts who made the bomb) to risk losing the very device he needs to reach full enjoyment in heaven. It’s sort of like gambling a student loan in the hopes of paying off school. Well, this gamble didn’t work out in his favor in embarrassing fashion, and you can bet future crotch bombers will test their explosives a bit more in the future.

Ryan Mauro is the founder of and a regular contributor to FrontPage Magazine.

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