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Abdulmutallab’s Hot Pants Defense

Posted on December 30 2009 9:56 am
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Civil libertarians and other assorted Leftists were busy appearing on cable talk shows last night proclaiming the Islamic terrorist Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab’s constitutional right to a full-blown criminal trial in our federal civil courts.

Sean Hannity’s former co-anchor Alan Colmes, for example, expressed moral outrage on “The O’Reilly Factor” at the very thought of not treating the Nigerian Islamic jihadist the same as any American charged with attempted murder.   A criminal defense lawyer appearing on “Hannity’s America” said that there was no longer such a thing as an enemy combatant since President Obama has done away with that classification.   Therefore,  she concluded, Abdulmutallab must be tried in federal civil court.

The fact that Abdulmutallab was trained and outfitted by al Qaeda, which has declared war on the United States, for the express purpose of carrying out a post-9/11 attack targeted against civilians over U.S.  soil means nothing to these numskulls.  They still want him to be treated just like you and me.

So lets try to get inside the ACLU defense lawyers’ heads (a scary thought), and see how imaginative they might be in trying to get this monster off the hook.   It will be hard to deny that Abdulmutallab tried to ignite the explosive hidden in his pants, given the witnesses and all of the forensic evidence.   Perhaps  the defense would argue that he was trying to keep warm with thermal-type underwear and that it was all just a horrible accident.  Any confession he might have made before he was lawyered-up was ‘coerced’ and, therefore, inadmissible. 

Or perhaps his defense lawyers can try to put United States foreign policy on trial as the motivating factor that drove  Abdulmutallab to do what he did.   However, that argument is getting stale and will be unlikely to sway a jury.

We need something innovative like what I am calling the “hot pants” defense.  It seems that Abdumutallah’s Internet postings show a lonely guy who had trouble controlling his sexual urges: 

As I get lonely, the natural sexual drive awakens and i (sic)struggle to control it…the hair of a woman can easily arouse a man

The defense might  go something like this – a variation of temporary insanity.   Surrounded by sexually arousing women who were fueling his own fantasies, the only way that the crotch bomber could control the hot feelings that he was experiencing in his pants was to blow up his private parts.  Or, alternatively, blowing himself up would get him to paradise and those 72 virgins right away.  The fact that he would be taking nearly 300 fellow passengers and crew with him was just unfortunate happenstance. 

This is the kind of nonsense that taxpayers’ money could be paying for, just to make sure that Abdulmutallab is afforded all the constitutional rights of an ordinary criminal defendant.  On second thought, how about we keep Gitmo open, throw this Islamic fanatic in a solitary cell there, and try him before a military tribunal where he belongs.

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