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David Axelrod Needs to Hire Michelle Kwan As His Coach

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Posted on December 18 2009 6:20 pm

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Michelle Kwan is the most highly decorated figure skater in United States History. She holds nine US Titles, five World Championship Titles, two Olympic Medals, and between 1994 and 2004, she never finished lower than third place in any tournaments in which she participated.

In spite of Kwan’s legendary accomplishments, for many she will be remembered as “the greatest athlete never to win gold.” Two heartaches add a touch of bittersweet to her otherwise mind-boggling career – the 1998 and 2002 Olympics – when she came within fractions of points of winning Olympic Gold.

On Thursday, December 18, 2009, the Fox and Friends panel discussed Senator Ben Nelson’s obstinate rejection of government subsidized abortion that presently jeopardizes the nationalization of one sixth of our economy. Questioned about the Senate Healthcare debate, White House Senior Advisor, David Axelrod told Fox News Correspondent Major Garrett:

“We’ve gotten further than anybody has gotten before. We’re on the doorstep of getting it done. Now, the question is whether or not we can get this to a vote.”

I believe that Michelle Kwan could give Mr. Axelrod a few tips on the difference between winning and almost winning, attaining a goal and falling agonizingly short of succeeding, holding that Gold and singing someone else’s anthem. The Obama Administration so far, has had great warm-ups, impressive pre-skate photo-ops, wonderful sponsor endorsements, and has even mastered the poses and postures of champions. It has yet to land a clean axle. There is something pathetic in Mr. Axelrod’s attempts to paint Obama’s inability to foist socialism onto the American people as a never-before seen almost win.

In the legislative equivalent of attempting a death-spiral before knowing how to lace up skates, the Senate is preparing to vote on a bill, the contents of which they have no knowledge. There is a terrible chance that a Communist America may be tied up with a big red bow and waiting under our Christmas Trees next week.

Still, there is always the magic of the Season. Nelson’s Christmas-appropriate determination to protect babies might have the reward of rescuing the country.

Michelle Kwan was not only known and loved for her poetry on the ice, she was the personification of good-sportsmanship. Her ability to celebrate the successes of her competitors and remain exquisitely poised in defeat inspired universal admiration.

Should American patriots win the miraculous Gold of a Bill defeated in the Senate it would be amazing to see team Obama imitate Kwan’s gracefulness towards their adversaries and take responsibility for the shortcomings of their Long Program instead of pretending they deserve medals for coming closer than anyone else who almost won.

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