Gene Mierzejewski

Enough with the Teddy Bears, Time for the Cheney Bears

Posted on August 30 2009 5:20 pm
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Just when viewers became exhausted by TV’s gavel-to-shovel coverage of Ted Kennedy’s funeral, along came former Vice President Dick Cheney to stir the pot. Cheney gained national attention with his spirited attack on Attorney General Eric Holder’s plan to investigate charges that CIA interrogators allegedly tortured suspected terrorists.

It’s an opportune time, then, to glance back at the careers of both men, who have spent their lives in public service.

Despite his checkered past, Kennedy has always been a media darling, while Cheney has been portrayed as both a hero (as Secretary of Defense during the Gulf War) and a villain (during most of his time as veep) on the airwaves and printed page.
Two recent news clips from MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow Show give an indication of how the MSM view Kennedy and Cheney.
In the first segment, Maddow ridicules Republican senators’ claims that Kennedy would have compromised with the GOP on a comprehensive health care bill (noting, with some satisfaction, that Kennedy was a “doctrinaire liberal”):
 Maddow takes a less loving approach in the second clip, where Secretary of State Colin Powell’s former chief of staff slings slander and mud at Cheney over his approach to the Global War on Terrorism:
youtube=]But there’s another way to  look at these guys.

In a better world, we’d be sending our children to bed with Cheney Bears, not teddy bears.

Teddy bears are cute and cuddly, true, but they’re small and cushy soft… absolutely useless in protecting youngsters from the zombies, orcs, rabid dogs and SEIU thugs that lurk in their nightmares.

Ah, but a Cheney Bear would be different. While huggable and reassuring to its owner, a Dick Cheney model would strike fear into any demon or dinosaur that would dare to invade a child’s dreams. It might project the face of a doting grandfather or kindly uncle, but the Dick would be fully capable of plucking off a mad mullah’s head and squishing it like a rotten grape or tearing open the throat of a werewolf with his thumb and index finger.

And let’s not forget the Lynne Cheney model. Besides being much, much better looking than the Dick, the motherly and comforting Lynne would have the power to make the toughest gangsta in da ‘hood cry like Ed Muskie when facing her slashing wit and sharp intelligence.

What brings all this up is the passing of Sen. Edward “Ted” Kennedy, D-Oblivion, whom many Democrats and other fans consider a real-life teddy bear. (Others praise him as the “Lion of the Senate,” though he was more often found to be lyin’ in – and sometimes to — the Senate.)

The slavish praise lathered on Kennedy during Saturday’s grief-fest, er, state funeral was merely a touch more obsequious than what the Ol’ Lion received on a day-by-day basis from the MSM. So what if Kennedy was responsible for the death of a young woman, had smeared the integrity and very humanity of Judge Robert Bork, conspired with Yuri Andropov to thwart Ronald Reagan’s crusade to bring down the evil Soviet empire, and committed an array of lesser transgressions against the republic? Anyone could see he cared about the people. It may not have shown in his actions, but it certainly was evident from the bills he crafted.

Although the drowning death of Mary Jo Kopechne in 1969 would have killed the career of most politicians, I have to cut the media and the American people a teensy-tiny, widdle-biddy piece of slack. The “Chappaquiddick incident” (as Wikipedia calls it) apparently occurred on July 18 and was reported the next day. While big news by any standard, the death of the young lady was up against the Story of the Century: Apollo 11. The spacecraft was launched on July 16, 1969, and landed on the moon July 20 – not much a window for Kopechne’s demise to gain much traction. Stirring the waters even more, Charlie Manson’s followers committed their shocking murders August 9 and 10, making sure that any follow-up to Kennedy and Chappaquiddick would be relegated to the obits page.

And let’s not forget the Get Out of Jail cards Teddy had in his pocket. Not only had he barely escaped death in a 1964 plane crash, but he (and the country) also had seen his brothers, President John and Senator Bobby, irrationally slain in public service. Heck, at that point, I might have spared Kennedy jail time – but I sure would have kicked his heinie from the Senate.

Now let’s go back to the Cheneys. Dick took appointive offices in Washington, including being President Ford’s White House chief of staff. He eventually returned to Wyoming and was elected to the U.S. House in 1978. He served in Congress until 1989 (and was elected House minority whip in 1988).

As for Lynne, she distinguished herself by serving as chairman of the National Endowment for the Humanities from 1986 to 1993 and has been a member of the American Enterprise Institute since 1998. She also is an author, having written six best-selling books.

In the Barack Obama era, Dick Cheney has been especially effective as a patriot. While others are mum on the topic, Dick doesn’t hesitate to defend the anti-terrorist policies installed by George W. Bush – policies that have kept America safe for the past eight years.

If Teddy Kennedy is being celebrated for being a lifelong progressive who never compromised his principles where legislation was involved, I wonder what kind of fanfare Dick Cheney will receive from the MSM when he passes on. He never killed anyone, conspired with the nation’s enemies or recklessly smeared a political opponent. All he did was protect and defend the United States to the best of his abilities.

I suspect the MSM will barely recognize the demise of this great man. And if it does pay attention to Dick Cheney’s departure, it will spend more than half the time on how hated he was by the intelligentsia and other elements of the Left.

That’s why I’d like some Cheney Bears to pass around. My grandchildren and others in the coming generation need to be protected by the Cheneys, not by a limp, lying “Lion” like Ted Kennedy.

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