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Free Speech TV: As Absurd as the Flying Spaghetti Monster

Posted on July 8 2009 4:22 am
David Swindle is the Managing Editor of NewsReal Blog and the Associate Editor of FrontPage Magazine. Follow him on Twitter here
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Perhaps the mind can only endure so many initialisms and acronyms before they start to blend together — sometimes in surprising yet strangely appropriate ways.

Free Speech Television is a commercial-free, neo-communist television network. If  you have DISH satellite, you can find it on channel 9415. As I type this blog, the TV-version of Democracy Now!,with its red diaper baby host, Amy Goodman, is on. Her guest, discussing the death of former Defense Secretary Robert McNamara, is none other than Marxist historian Howard Zinn and radical journalist Jonathan Schell. Goodman almost falls into a self-parody when she describes the Vietnam War solely by naming the number of Vietnamese and American casualties, not the fact that it was fought to stop the spread of a totalitarian, genocidal ideology. (Perhaps because it was a political faith that she, herself, has spent a lifetime diligently serving?)

That’s basically par for the course for Free Speech TV (a rather Orwellian name, considering the Left’s standard response when conservatives come to campus). Other regular shows include Laura Flanders’ Grit TV and Gay US. Most of the rest of the airspace is filled with far-left documentaries and recorded speeches. It’s a bizarre parallel universe.  

The channel shows up as FSTV on my channel guide and for some reason whenever I look at it I can’t help but drop an M into the middle, blending its acronym with FSM to make FSMTV. And what’s FSM stand for? Why, that’s none other than the Flying Spaghetti Monster (pictured above,) the deity of the parody religion Pastafarianism which “believes” that the world was created by an invisible, omnipotent flying creature made out of spaghetti and meatballs.

The best critiques of the Left always define the Left in the same way: as a political religion. FSTV (or FSMTV as I’ll henceforth be referring to it) is akin to religious programming — usually boring, occasionally entertaining, continually ridiculous. (All three descriptors describe the droning tone and wild claims of the speeches of the frequently-featured leftist guru Noam Chomsky and his many imitators.) The political faith of the Left should be regarded in the same fashion as one would regard the notion of an invisible Spaghetti deity. It’s just absurd — and often hilarious in a sad way. On the 4th of July I stumbled into a debate with a group of anarchists about the American Idea. They declared that the Constitution and Declaration should be used for toilet paper and that the American Idea was a fraud. They couldn’t see the obvious staring them in the face. They couldn’t see how such things as the life and presidential election of Barack Obama was an affirmation of the truth of the American Idea — work hard, develop yourself, participate in the free market, and you have the freedom to rise from nothing to wealth and power.

And none of the True Believers on “FSMTV” can see it either. They’re trapped in a self-reinforcing reality tunnel that’s unable to grasp the obvious. 

The difference, though, between the Left and we Pastafarians is key: the Left doesn’t realize that its faith is an illusion.

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